Reflections on Phil Ross-Offers Summer Issue Article on Sand Bagging!

First of all, let me commend Phil on his Gift of Gab. I don't think anyone can fill as much space when reviewing such limited topics as our one and only Phil Ross-Offer. I truly enjoy Phil's articles as they are quite witty and make me laugh. They also fill the extended time I usually spend on the potty following my morning coffee. And to think Phil has the ability to spout his verbal-multitudes even though he hasn't visited a
Sedgley soup kitchen for quite some time. What could possibly be lurking in the dark recesses of Phil's mind to come up with such elaborate stuff on such a limited topic? I thought I would give it a go myself, but as you will see from my following comments I just don't have a gift for dribble like Phil. Regardless, here is my "A Rebut to Pissdom".

As I see it, there are 3 types of Sand Baggers....

1. "Playful Hi-Jinx Soup-Enhanced" Sand Bagger (aka Sedgely Special): For anyone of us who plays a relatively decent game and who also enjoys some playful hi-jinx among friends, a mild case of Sand Bagging is inevitable. Now the type of Sand Bagging I'm referring too is the kind you try to pull off during Thursday Doubles when your among friends, you've made several trips to Camden to visit the Campbell Soup Factory and your trying to finagle a switch from the A+ pool to the B pool. You know you have a rats chance in hell of getting away with it, noted by the sh**-eating grin on your face the entire time your trying to pull it off. Thus, I refer to this form of Sand Bagging as "Playful Hi-Jinx Soup-Enhanced Sand Bagging" - it's totally harmless. Hell, I can't remember a Thursday Doubles Pooling when someone wasn't trying to pull a fast one on their Jaeger Swilling Friends. Tell me if this sounds familiar, "Whaaa, I haven't had Gold in 2 weeks (yet this person is in the Top 20)" - Ya Bagger! There isn't a middle-tier Sedgley player, myself included, who when tossed in the A+ pool, hasn't attempted to pull off the "Playful Hi-Jinx Soup-Enhanced Sand Bagging" routine. We just get laughed at and take our lowered heads over to the log for a little solice... heh, heh, heh.

2. "Dickless No-Good" Sand Bagger (aka Asshole):
Unlike #1 above, this form of Sand Bagging isn't one that was created as a form of fun among friends. Rather, it was created as a way of pilfering some cash or golf loot from unexpecting players by excessive whining with claims that you suck when your game is quite awesome. Typically this would be done by a "stranger" to Sedgley, or the course in question. This type of Bagger is someone we really don't like and consider a Dickless No Good Sand Bagger (aka A**hole). We really don't appreciate this type of Bagger so we won't dwell on them any longer. Why you ask? To paraphrase the brilliant Cheek and Chong, "they bum us out man".

3. "Good-Intentioned, Not Really a Bagger Afterall" Sand Bagger:
This is a middle-tier Sedgley player who is really a true "Advanced Am" on the majority of courses in the country. This player doesn't have a big arm and can't score under par at most courses in the US due to there length(ie. Brandywine). But due to

Sedgley's shortened layout, they usually manage to score fairly well (around par from Yellow), but occasionally will score as low as 3 to 4 under par from Yellow. Overall a A- to B+ player by Phils record. The majority of players at Sedgley fit into this middle-tier or Advanced Am catagory, as the competition continues to get tougher each and every year. These could include, but isn't limited to: yours truly, Phil,
JoeTHE, Heff, Lefty, Prue, Topher, Penrose, Stash, Russda, Emann, Woodsy, Mike Morano, John Murphy, etc. In Phil's article, he poops on this group for playing Pro (Open) at Sedgley Monthly's while playing Advanced Am at other courses. In all fairness, I think this group "should" play Pro at Sedgley. Afterall, one must challenge oneself to improve, but they shouldn't be expected to flush their entry fees when playing tourneys at any other course. Having said that, they should be applauded for moving up to Pro at Sedgley, when they know they're still be going against players they don't have a rat's chance in hell of beating (King, Barry, JGB, Mela, Lacourte,
Kady, etc.). Personally, I'm not listed as a Pro but I feel the need to push myself at the Monthly's in order to stay on my game and hopefully learn a few things from the Pro's, I thank Joe THE for giving me that push. Hey, it's all about having fun right?! I encourage all Advanced Am Baggers to play Pro at the Monthly's in the future. You may surprise yourself.

In conclusion, I've just admitted to fitting into 2 of 3 Sand Bagger catagories, I guess I'm a true Sedgley Bagger - ya happy Phil!? I'll tell you what though, as long as I never find myself or any of my fellow Friends of Sedgley in the apply named "#2" Sand Bagger catagory, I'll always love this great sport and the unique people of Sedgley Woods.... even if your all Sand Baggers.

See you on the course !

Peace,
Dan Sauté

Final Thought on Doubles Pooling:
While I'll never claim to have the answer to Doubles Pooling, I think a simple remedy would be for everyone to be pooled based on their current Top 20 Tag standing, regardless of how crappy they've played the last couple of weeks... myself included. Hey, it's listed right there on the Sedgley Billboard !