Distractions 101

You know, there's no telling how truly important the effect a discrete distraction can play on a player you perceive to be slightly better than you are in a match. A well timed cough during his back swing; motion in his peripheral vision; having some beer foam spray the back of his leg while opening a well shaken beer during his release approach to the tee; pointing out how close he is to the course record, etc. All, or a combination of any of the above, is guaranteed to get you back at least 2-3 strokes in a particularly close money game.

The importance of letting go of the disc. There is nothing more embarrassing than failing to release one's grip on the disc after a three-step power approach to the tee. The Velcro like ripping sound emanating from the thrower's rotator cuff, while humorous as hell to the other group members, is truly an experience better left for others more akin to the masochistic life-style.

The importance of watching where you threw your camouflaged/leaf colored plastic: Frankly, you deserve to lose any/all camouflaged/ leaf colored plastic you're throwing anyway, you moron! Sure, I'll pretend to root around the poison-ivy in my gym shorts looking for your stupid lost plastic...but even if I'm lucky enough to find it- I'd rather stuff it in my bag, sand-paper off your name in the comfort of my own living room and later re-sell it to someone else at a discount than give it back to you to make me waste my life every time you drive with it in the future.

The Blame Game. Accountability is un-American! Remember, if you're having a bad game, it's probably not your fault...NOT! (Someone was probably coughing in your back swing; moving just inside the corner of your eye; maybe they even "accidentally" sprayed you with some beer foam on the back of your leg just prior to your failed drive. Get over it, crybaby!) If you can't stand the heat...get out of the woods!