Today's Chapter: "Why I Hate to Play with Folks Who Insist on 'Yorking' Me!"

New Yorking, verb: Complimenting a disc in flight. This is the surest way to immediately "de-hyzer" or "de-hyzerify" an opponent's otherwise heretofore magnificent ace-bound if-only-you-hadn't-opened-up-your-big-yap shot.

Okay. I'll admit it. Superstition should have no bearing on the game. I'm well educated, a doctor of law, even. Yet, sure enough, it seems that every time a player says something nice about one of my drives…"WHACK!"…it suddenly veers off course and into an unsuspecting natural obstacle. I realize that logically, it should be devoid of affect or merit. However, I've been in the control group for 11 years now. Believe me when I tell you that it is a misunderstood evil power which, if nothing else, deserves your respect. While jinxing a superstitious thrower's shot is not all as hard as, say…trying to take back your pilfered lighter from Topher, be aware that even Yorking has its subtle nuances.

Examples of Yorking inflagrants:
"WOW!"
"Check out the ace run!"
"Nice shot!"
"Sweet!"
"THAT TOSS MAY…GO…ALL…THE…WAY…!"

Notice that these aforementioned sentiments may simply be thought-spoken and need not be openly expressed to avoid being flagged for Yorking! (Remember: Yorking can only be accomplished out loud. Unlike a tree falling alone in the forest, to work, someone must be around to hear it…even if it's thrower himself. Enjoy the peace and beauty of nature, people!) While the five compliments previously mentioned are clear and well known examples of Yorking, some may not realize that not all in-flight compliments are objectionable to the superstitious thrower. Complimenting the 'style' of the throw or the level of 'snappage/snapple' does not constitute Yorking. Offering helpful post-release guidance tips like "get around that…" or barking out "miss it" also are acceptable anti-yorking devices. Anti-yorking? Sure! How many times have we all seen a "Noped" Prue putt miraculously survive its tortured hyperbolic sojourn only to find itself resting peacefully inside the basket once the full effects of momentum have fully worn off? Anti-yorking is my disc golf rabbit's foot.

Self-yorking is the hardest concept for me to fully comprehend. Why would anyone want to verbalize the following before shooting: "I can't believe how good my game is today", or "I bet I ace this!"

There is, however, at least one example of when self-yorking need not be expressed out loud, but merely thought of to have a simply devastating effect on a player's own game. This is when you foolishly start feeling good about your current score and the way it should hold up for a gold tag. You think to yourself, "hey, Magic, ol' buddy, all we have to do now is play out the rest of the round conservatively, and we're Golden." (Unless your Greg Golden, these vexation thoughts will scatter your subatomic ability to control your physical reflexes such that multiple bogies or an O.B. are most assuredly in your immediate future.)

One other strange example of the unsuspecting power of the York was when Phil Ross said "Abracadabra" to me just before a putt I once doinked on basket 15. It finally took an "Abracadabra" verbal dyslexic antidote three weeks later for the spell to wear off before I finally made a long putt again. I tell you people, there is some strange Magic in our woods! Why is it that once the Tree Gods are satiated with a bad throw that everyone else gets under the arch nemesis? Why does the PBLD (post-birdie let down) so often immediately follow the feelings of euphoria and immortality, if not for an under compensated ying/yang circle of life/balance of nature forces that just are?

These unanswerable questions and why I always seem to make JGB money, I guess I shall save for another chapter. Until then, keep your karma off my dogma, and York me no further.

Most tagfully yours, Magic.